Pro tip: bring a surgical glove.
Ibrought Purell, took all four rings off of my right hand, and removed my Whoop sleep tracker from my right wristat Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
One whole freaking day before Dune: Part Two opened in theaters, yesterday at three o’clock in the afternoon, I was prepared to (for science!) consume just popcorn from the Dune bucket for the entire 162 minutes of the movie. The viral vessel, which you have to reach inside to get popcorn at Dune, is a rubbery replica of the front (face, mouth, butthole, etc.) of an Arrakian sandworm, in case you haven’t seen it yet. Section Two: The Sandworm Popcorn Bucket was reviewed (for science). It resembles a tentacled suction cup for your hand in several ways. I entered AMC Lincoln Square anticipating to spend a good forty percent of my right arm in a greasy excursion at Dune: Second Section: Our Analysis of the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket (For Science).
Guess what? The theater ran out of the damn bucket. (Sickos, all of you.) Shameful! But I won’t lie to you—I was a little relieved. Instead, I polished off an entire large popcorn the old-fashioned way: fistfuls straight to mouth, no rubbery wormhole to circumnavigate. Thankfully, Esquire’s Senior Market Editor, Alfonso Fernandez Navas, saw the film on Wednesday, and he managed to get his hands on the (what I am now gathering is rare!) Duneussy, as he calls it in the review I asked him to film afterward. Here are his thoughts at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.):
A 10/10 was unexpected. I want to say that I would’ve had a pretty bad time overall eating out of the Dune bucket, but it’s hard to say for sure. It certainly would have slowed me down—and I don’t think I would have finished a quarter of my popcorn during the previews. (Which I did.) So it gets points for extending the lifespan of your popcorn, which is a pretty important spec, considering the movie’s nearly three-hour-long runtime. The Duneussy could very well prevent you from needing a second snack run and missing part of the film, if your bladder hasn’t already betrayed you at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
It’s also important to consider mess-prevention, however I personally don’t mind if I eat a few stray popcorn kernels off my shirt while watching a movie. The sensation of coating my entire hand and forearm—once I started digging for more popcorn because I was so full—seems to outweigh any hygienic benefit that the souvenir’s tiny opening offers. What if I wanted to put my arm up to relax or just take a break from the popcorn to eat some sweets or drink my drink? Would I end up covered in grease? Yesterday, I was also wearing a thick sweater, which I could have hypothetically had to take off (which would have left me looking like Alfonso in a tank top, and I would have probably been cold) or pull up my sleeve until my right arm’s blood flow stopped. Just wear a T-shirt if you want to go to the theater in the hopes of winning the Dune popcorn bucket. And at Dune, consider bringing a surgical glove: Part Two: The Sandworm Popcorn Bucket was reviewed. In the interest of science.
Now, it is possible that there is an added sensory benefit to eating out of a rubber sandworm. If you’re the type of person who likes to keep their hands busy by playing with fidget spinner-esque toys, the rubbery wormhole will keep your hands occupied over the course of the film, well after you’ve finished your popcorn. But tread lightly. Don’t take it too far. If the person next to me started fisting their popcorn bucket in a rhythmic manner, I’m certain that would have been distracting—even if they were just harmlessly enjoying the sensation of the soft bristles on their hand at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
For anything beyond that? You could very well get arrested. I would recommend you just take the bucket home and do whatever you want with it there. Just… don’t list it on eBay afterward. Please at Dune: Part Two: We Reviewed the Sandworm Popcorn Bucket. (For Science.).
